Miscellaneous Writings (1883-1896) by Mary Baker Eddy
Books by Mary Baker Eddy

HOW TO UNDERSTAND SCIENCE AND HEALTH
page 300


this was only another phantasm of some religionist lost
in the labyrinths of mental hallucination.
   In my reflections at that time it seemed to me that
life was an incomprehensible enigma; that the creator
had placed us on this earth, and left us entirely in the
dark as to His purpose in so doing.  We seemed to be
cast upon the ocean of time, and left to drift aimlessly
about, with no exact knowledge of what was required of
us or how to attain unto the truth, which must certainly
have an existence somewhere.  It seemed to me that in
the very nature of things there must be a great error
somewhere in our understanding, or that the creator
Himself had slipped a cog when He fitted all things into
their proper spheres.  That there had been a grand mistake


MISC 466


somewhere I had no doubt; but I still had doubt
enough of my own capabilities and understanding to believe
that the mistake, whatever it was, was in me and
not in the creator.  I knew that, in a fair measure at
least, I had an honest desire to live aright, as it was given
me to see the right, and to strive to some extent to do the
will of God, if I could only know certainly just what it
was.
   While in this frame of mind, I inwardly appealed to
the great unseen power to enlighten my understanding,
and to lead me into a knowledge of the truth, promising
mentally to follow wherever it might lead, if I could only
do so understandingly.
   My wife had been investigating Christian Science to
some extent, but knowing my natural antipathy to such
vagaries, as I then thought them, had said very little to
me about it; but one day, while discussing the mysteries
of life with a judge of one of our courts, he asked me
whether I had ever looked into the teachings of the Christian
Scientists.  I told him that I had not, and he urged
me very strongly to do so.  He claimed to have investigated
their teachings, and said that he had become a
thorough believer in them.  This aroused my curiosity,
and I procured the book called "Science and Health
with Key to the Scriptures," and read it.  Before reading
very far in it, I became pretty thoroughly nauseated
with what I thought the chimerical ideas of the author,
but kept on reading, - more because I had promised to
read the book than because of interest in its teachings;
but before I had gotten through with it, I did become
interested in the Principle that I thought I discovered
the author was striving to elucidate; and when I got

MISC 467


through it, I began again and reread it very carefully.
When I had finished reading this book the second time,
I had become thoroughly convinced that her explanation
of the religion taught by Jesus Christ, and what
he did teach, afforded the only explanation which, to
my mind, came anywhere near harmonizing and making
cohesive what had always seemed contradictory and
inexplicable in the Bible.  I became satisfied that I had
found the truth for which I had long been seeking, and
I arose from the reading of the book a changed man;
doubt and uncertainty had fled, and my mind has never
been troubled with a serious doubt upon the subject from
that day to this.
   I do not pretend to have acquired the power it is claimed
we may attain to; but I am satisfied that the fault is in
me, and not in the Principle.  I think I can almost hear
you ask, What! do you believe in miracles?  I answer
unhesitatingly, Yes; I believe in the manifestations of
the power of Mind which the world calls miraculous;
but which those who claim to understand the Principle
through which the works are done, seem to think not
unnatural, but only the logical result of the application

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